


i wanna be alone (alone with you, does that make sense?)

by unsaved_joj



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst/Comfort??, Fluff, M/M, Social Anxiety, bubble baths, first time writing this relationship please don’t hurt me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 14:39:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17624300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsaved_joj/pseuds/unsaved_joj
Summary: joshy feels anxious and weird sometimes.





	i wanna be alone (alone with you, does that make sense?)

**Author's Note:**

> this is kinda rushed :(

Baths were something Josh cherished in life. They seemed to be one of the only places where you could be completely vulnerable without a care in the world, sink into the water and have your mind shut off for the time being. They soothed him from stress so he took them often, which explained why he was running the bath tonight. He’d been trying his best to record a video all day, but nothing seemed to be working. His jokes fell flat, there were large pockets of silence, and he couldn’t bring himself to scream at anyone over the mic because he, for once, felt too anxious to say anything. Most of the time, Josh could blurt out random shit and laugh it off no matter what response he got. That was just who he was. But, rarely, at least 2 or 3 months apart, he’d have episodes where he wouldn’t want to speak to hardly anyone and always felt like he was saying something irrelevant.

Josh was glad this didn’t happen often because it got in the way of his career, but it was still tough when that time rolled around. It could last 2 weeks max, 2 weeks of feeling stupid and being quiet. It had just started last night when he ordered a pizza and got sweaty palms about answering the door, which never happened. So, after some unsuccessful recording and ignoring some texts, he decided to just take a break and run a warm bath. He’d gotten out some fluffy towels and some type of bubble bath stuff his best friend Nina had given him, and turned on the faucet. Sitting beside the tub, he grabbed his phone and sighed at the notifications. The only people he’d bother texting today were George and Nina.

nina: how are things going?

nina: i’m tellin u that bubble bath helps with tension n shit

josh: don’t worry im using it

nina: good, take care of urself!

nina: i’ll leave u to it xx

Josh smiled at the messages. Nina was always there for him, no matter what. And, so was George, even if he didn’t seem like it. George was editing on Josh’s computer in the other room, and Josh kinda wished he was with him at the moment. Even if he was currently socially awkward, George could always make him laugh and understood how he felt. Being around George was just comfortable. Josh set down his phone and glanced into the bath, noticing that it was almost filled up. He squirted in a little bit more of the bubble bath before shutting it off. He’d stripped out of his sweater, joggers, and socks before stepping in. It was hot but soothing after a few seconds.

Josh lowered himself in slowly before sitting down, the warm water surrounding him like a hug. He laid down, further in, his back leaning comfortably against the edge, water pouring in over the dips in his skin. He grabbed a handful of bubbles and admired them for a moment, enjoying the silence. He hesitated before leaning back all the way, only thing visible being his kneecaps slightly bent. Underneath the water, soothing and comforting and warm, he felt like he wasn’t himself. In another body, experiencing only good things, being taken care of and having no worries. He was aware of the water and his being, and his hair brushing across his forehead, but it felt separated at the same time.  
Once he felt his chest starting to burn, he surfaced, wiping the droplets from his face. Josh knew he’d regret his hair being wet later, but it didn’t matter now. He exhaled through his mouth and opened his eyes, looking up at the white ceiling. Contemplating.

-

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been in the bath, but it was still warm when he heard a light knock at the door. Josh jumped nonetheless, used to an absence of noise.  
“Josh? It’s me.” George’s voice was muffled behind the door.  
“Come in.” Josh said, and within a few seconds, George had entered, smiling. Josh smiled back, a little relieved to see George. The older man walked over, taking a spot next to Josh beside the tub.  
“How is it?” He asked. Josh shrugged one of his shoulders.  
“Shitty. But not so bad when you’re around.” George snorted.  
“Like I’m the person to be around during this shit. I’m not very helpful.” He looked to another spot in the room. 

“Being around you helps. You don’t have to give advice or anything.” Josh scooted his legs up to his chest, leaving some empty room. “Can you join me?”  
George nodded, standing and removing his clothes. Josh watched him, tracing circles into the porcelain of the bath rim. When George had dropped his slightly clean clothes onto the floor, he stepped into the tub and sat down, back to Josh’s chest. Josh felt a pang of anxiety choke him for a moment, unsure of what to do with his hands. He breathed in slowly and just let George lean into his chest, closing his eyes.  
“‘s comfy.” George mumbled, adjusting himself. Josh swallowed hard, wishing that ache in his chest would just leave. George turned his head slightly, Josh only catching his eye and the jut of his cheek. 

“You alright?”  
Josh shook his head. George nodded and held out an open palm. Josh slid his hand into George’s and squeezed, leaning his head into the older man’s neck.  
“I don’t feel normal.”  
“I know.”  
“And I wanna record a video with you, or John, or James but I just can’t. Nothing is fucking coming.” He sighed in frustration, pressing a kiss to George’s neck. George shivered against him, goosebumps rising on his skin despite the warm water. It was getting slightly colder but Josh didn’t want to leave.  
“I would say we could react to something together. But...y’know. Maybe I could order us some food again. Go to the door so you don’t have to. Relax for a bit.” George was trying his best to help, which just made Josh want to kiss him more.

“Thank you, George.” He said before kissing his skin again. George smiled a little before the room was filled with silence, comfortable and content silence. Josh couldn’t believe how thankful he was for George. Videos and interactions between them seemed like they were only friends, didn’t care too much for each other, but the small gestures George gave proved otherwise. It sometimes made Josh feel guilty that he wasn’t doing enough.  
“I appreciate what you’re doing. I know I don’t say that enough.” Josh said softly, resting his chin on George’s shoulder. George brought up his free hand to stroke Josh’s face.  
“I’m only doing this because I feel bad for how clapped you are.” Josh snorted at the remark, nudging George’s leg with his own.  
“Shut up. You aren’t much better.” Josh joked, earning a light slap. Josh knew that George had to follow romantic gestures up with humor or else he’d seize up, same with sad situations. 

“Love you.” Josh said quietly, closing his eyes, squeezing George tighter between his legs. George breathed in a little sharply.  
“Love you too.”  
Things were quiet again. But, that was nice. Warm. Safe. Things felt okay, or at least a little better.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave kudos and comments! also, is this a crackship or no because i don’t know anyone else who ships it :/


End file.
